Conflicting Desire

So my friend just became a father. He experienced the entire birthing process, as much as a dad can, and came out smiling. I had to ask him what is was like, as a single bachelor the whole experience blows me away. It was interesting to watch as he sat contemplating momentarily a way to encompass the entirety of it in words. This is one of the things I love about him, the natural ability to hold your attention whilst in thought and the ability to take that time to think before he talks. I find myself lacking in that area from time to time. Then with cock of his head he had it.

"We are really just animals" he proudly stated.

This took me off guard, I had expected the typical fatherly story of the miracle of birth. However, in those few words he had truly encompassed the whole experience. He talked of his wife in the throws of labour having a beautiful animalistic natural state of being. She avoided the drugs for as long as she could hold out, then some minor complications caused the need for an epidural. He was so taken by her ability to, excuse the pun I can't resist it, push through.

Now as a single male the whole idea of having a child seems overwhelming to me. I am taken by the natural ability of people to step up and care for this small version of themselves. I have asked a few parents I know how they manage, and I always express how much I respect them. They always look at me and they simply say "You just do it." It doesn't matter how many midnight feedings, or sleepless nights holding a bottle they incur they simply keep going. They make hundreds of decisions that have massive repercussions everyday as they care for a infant. This to me all seems like a responsibility that I find myself both envying and avoiding at the exact same time.

Now, where is all this baby talk going? Well my main concern stems from the two phrases I have heard form these parents lately:

1. We are really just animals
2. You just do it

Look at these two statements out of the context of child rearing. It seems that our ego centric beliefs that we have spent centuries developing about ourselves can boil down to these two points. At our core we really are just animals. Animals that at some point in our existence became self aware and found the ability to reason. Now I am not arguing about any divine intervention that may or may not have helped us along the way. Just look at the facts. We are animals that can think.

What have we truly done with that? In my opinion humanity is in it's teen years. We spent our youth simply using reason to limit our desires. To "child-proof" the world. In our haste to do so we caused massive conflicts in deciding what was the best way to do this. We childishly fought over toys, and the sandbox. We act as both bullies and victims, we are also friends and lovers. We made mistakes, some unimaginable, some that we still don't understand. We used this ability to reason to constantly battle our innermost desires. We want something we took it, then we started to reason out that perhaps we need to share or not take everything. We grew up.

Now we are in our teen years, we look at the mistakes we made as a child and we have to fix them, or at the very least learn from them. However, this takes time and contemplation. A few things we have recently put monetary values on. Time is money and good ideas are priceless. So like a teenager with a liquid income from our summer job we are spending. As a whole we are spending at an astronomical rate. We want the newest shiniest toys, we want the fastest and the strongest and newest toys and we want them now. To top it all off, we stop talking to our peers and parents because as a teen obviously no one understands us.

This is where we sit at the current crossroads in our society. We are teenagers with way to much power. We are consumed with our desires and we will do anything to fulfil or distract us from our inability to fulfil them. We are no longer using reason to advance or grow, we no longer use it to limit our desires. We simply use it to get ahead and find our disposable satisfaction in everything we do. We no longer understand value, or virtue. What teenager really does.

So what is the magical moment where we grow into an adult? What is that defining moment when we change? Many who know me would argue it is still awaiting further down the road for me. More importantly we have to ask where is that moment for us a conscientious animal? When will we grow and surpass our limited teenage experience? I truly believe we are trying, we search for new ideas with amazing conferences like TED, we are exploring new spiritual paths everyday, we are realizing our environment is not limitless, we are becoming slightly less ego centric, we have people out their voicing their opinions, we are holding our leaders accountable. However, we are not doing it together, as an entire species. We need to communicate, work together and find some middle ground. It is time to step out of our teenage shell and start letting people understand us, we need to be vulnerable, we need to trust, we need to accomplish the most difficult task and human has. We need to love ourselves. The time is now, the place is where ever you are, it is time for humanity to hit adulthood!